I’ve been drafting this post in my head for a couple weeks now, as its an interesting perspective, and might be miscontrued unless explained thoroughly, but also “correctly”
Humans are raised, for the most part, believing that being selfish is something to be avoided.. An action where someone is hurt or wronged on purpose for personal gain or greed. Sadly, this perspective, at least in my eyes, is skewed.
Selfishness is doing something with ones own goals and the only focus. It is a marvellous tool to be leant on heavily, and without shame, especially in the early stages of changing bad habits. When I stopped doing drugs, I made it my solemn vow to escape potential relapse-prone situations with all due speed and conviction. I still have a zero tolerance for being around drugs or people who are under the influence, and while it hasn’t let me keep a number of old friends, I haven’t done any drugs, and thats fine by me!
Here’s the skinny. If you find yourself in a situation that threatens to break a good habit that you are in the middle of still cementing in your life, jut change your surroundings to somewhere that is filled with your positive elements of change. If it means that you have to leave a social situation abruptly, make no excuses.. these only serve to undermine your strength. You don’t have to provide reason either;just politely excuse yourself and exit, provided no one (including yourself) are not put into a dangerous or permanently harmful environment by this change.
You will even find that flexing this “muscle” will have a number of beneficial side effects. Not only will you stay strong on your new habit, but you will also find your confidence increasing. A wonderful thing indeed. All of us suffer with self-doubt or self-depreciation at varying points in our lives. Unchecked, these can develop into depression, self-harm or worse! Patterns of basic behaviour, when met with devout selfishness, can fertilize one of life’s most important lessons: loving yourself.
So here we learn that by practicing “healthy selfishness”, we also learn self-love. This is one lesson that we can never over study!