Personal Accountability

I was unsure where to post this. Do I get out paper and pencil? Do I save it to my desktop? To the cloud? Where does it make the most sense, and where does it have the most meaning? The answer I’ve given myself is “Anywhere, just write”

Life has taken over my life. It’s a funny image, but it’s true. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with tasks we give ourselves so that we have some “meaning” to attach our existence to. For me, recently, I have been working too much. Giving myself too many projects because I am keen to get on the fast track to a life that I feel I’ll be happy in.

But it’s a state of mind that I should be trying to foster. I’ll never get where I’m going, because once I do, that’s it. Final destination. The journey is all we have.

I’m trying my best not to depress anyone. As I’ve said many many times before, this blog isn’t about you. It’s about me. And I’m ok with that. Readers be damned, the world is what you make of it. The decisions you make ultimately only affect your own existence.

stevejobs

I was driving to see a client with a coworker yesterday, and he was telling me about a documentary on Steve Jobs he’d just watched. One of the things that had been quoted resonated with me. Jobs had apparently said that he had expereinced an epiphany at a young age: he’d looked outside at a work that was built by humans, for humans, and was dictated by humans. There was nothing written that said that he had to follow the rules of those that had come before him. He realized that he had just as much entitlement as anyone else to change the world he lived in.

This was eye opening to me. Not only did it speak to the power that Job’s had over his own existence: it speaks to the power we all have in our own lives.

We only get one kick at this can. It’s easy to feel like we have nothing but all the time in the world.. yet that’s hauntingly somewhat true. We only have our time in the world. And that clock is limited. The only thing we have control over is how we spend it. Every second that goes by is an opportunity to affect our existence here. Deciding how it’s spent only matters to us. Whether we use it lying on the couch watching tv, climbing mountains, writing inspirational blogs.. it’s really only our perception of these activities that carries any personal weight.

This is important. Our perception of our activities is integral to our existence. As long as we are “happy” with what we do at any given time, that’s all we can hope for. If we sit on the couch watching TV, continually unhappy that we feel we are wasting out time… then that’s what we are doing. However, the person who is able to lie back and enjoy themselves shouldn’t be judged by anyone else who is not happy doing this themselves.

As I’ve mentioned before, our journey is our own. If other people see something in us that they want to learn about, then they’ll reach out and we can then talk about how we got to where we are.. but if they are not interested, it’s not for us to try and convince them that our path has more value than theirs. It’s a behaviour that I frequently repeat: that of identifying my own hurdles, then spending all my time pointing those same ones out to other people, instead of investing my time figuring out how to overcome them.

Trying to motivate myself to do anything is a struggle at the best of times. It’s almost effortless for me to create excuses and new obstacles as reasons why I don’t change. And it makes sense. Effort requires energy, dedication, and most importantly, creates the possibility of failure. I’ve gotten it into my head that I’m destined to fail, so I don’t even bother trying anymore.

I’ll admit that this isn’t the first time I’ve had this realization. It also isn’t the second or third time. I’ve come to this conclusion a handful of times, and even as I write this, that very behaviour almost led me to write that I’d be back here again before I knew it. But I’m not here to remind myself that I should set myself up for failure.

I’m here to succeed in my own life, and to be confident in whatever that goal might materialize in. And I can do it.

But here’s the thing: So can you.

 

 

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One thought on “Personal Accountability

  1. Pingback: Connect with Others by Connecting with yourself | humblepie: digital buddhism

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