So I’ll be the first one to admit that I totally fell off the map.
Since May, my life has been in turmoil, mostly self inflicted, and while it was a really erratic time, not only would I not have had it any other way, but I’d still sort of like to be back there, and that’s the problem.
I met someone fantastic, and fell head over heels for them. I felt like the feelings were pretty much returned, which only made it better. But as the weeks passed, the physical distance made it difficult to maintain, and I tried to fill the the gap to keep them in my life because a good thing is worth trying for.
In doing so, I fell away from my own routines. I stopped sitting, I stopped reading, I stopped remembering to put myself first. Any extra details aren’t important, because this blog is about me and my journey.
Suffice to say, karma hasn’t been that kind to me recently, so I’ve been a bit down on myself. A few weeks ago I found out that I had bedbugs in my apartment, hurt my wrist (and have been unable to practice blues dancing), and blew a tyre on my bike.
Dealing with all these things one at a time would be pretty manageable, but all at once has been mentally and physically draining
It was only when a close friend reminded me that I hadn’t posted in awhile that I was prompted to try and record a new vlog. As I started to go through all the above trials and hardships, I was also reminded of how good the last couple weeks have been. I’ve met some great new people, my workspace has improved, the bugs have retreated and I’ve spent the last week sleeping in a hammock every night.
What’s saved me has been two fold. First, a network of friends and family that I’ve always thought weren’t there for me as unconditionally as I have discovered that they are. I also made some new friends in a similar place that I’ve been in, and our shared advice helped us both move on. And second is you guys.. whether this blog is my subconscious at work, or just an embodiment of a commitment that keeps me on the noble path, it’s working out for the best for everyone. I’ve been reminding myself that I’m a confident adult with his own journey, and that my failings are no worse or less than those of anyone else, regardless of their situation. We cannot compare ourselves to others for good or bad.. everyone is in this thing together, but everyone is also alone. Bolstering ourselves, and each other is key to not only survival, but also growth: as individuals, but as a society, as a race.
Staying mindful, not only on the mat, but every day, in every moment that we can remind ourselves to consciously live in the present is the very key to everything.
So breathe, and lets get back to the basics. Together, but apart. And OK with that.
Associated vlog below!