Before you look for someone else to share your life with, whether its a close friend, partner, girl/boy-friend, or potential lover, it’s integral to ensure that you are comfortable with yourself. Not only ok with who you are, but able to love yourself.
I’m not saying you won’t ever make poor life decisions: those mistakes are what make us human. Instead, ensure that overall progress is happening. If you find yourself slipping, or not happy with how you are living your life, the only person you are accountable to is yourself. Don’t drag other people down with you.
This is not meant to discourage those already partnered up to drop their mates and to focus inwards, nor is a cry for them to be wholly selfish.. Instead, try to make sure that more than 50% of your energy is focused on looking after your own wellbeing. This will not only maintain integral balance in your own life, but also ensure that the time you spend caring for your friends and loved ones is a beneficial investment! Tilting these scales lower than 50% is inevitable. We’ve all had days when migraines plague us, we receive bad news at work or we even lose a loved one. This is called life, but again: ensure that, for the most part, you live your life on the positive side of the 50%. Heck, after you have a bad day, crank it up an extra notch and lock yourself in the bathroom with a liberal dose of suds-filled bath! Pamper yourself!
Remember that while it feels great to get support from the other in your life, it should’t replace the love you feel for yourself, rather just bolster you when you are down. If you find this balance to be off more days than it’s on, then it’s time to re-evaluate how to bring it back on track. Whats more, if you can’t restore the balance on your own, then it’s of paramount importance to ask for help. Because when someone else asks, listening and lending a hand or ear is why we maintain the balance in the first place.. not only to help ourselves, but to help others